Always Something There to Remind Me

First of all, Happy Holidays. With the whirlwind of events that have consumed our family this month, it's sometimes easy to forget that today is Christmas Eve. The second I walked outside it suddenly became hard to forget that it's December, with all of the cold air and snow. I think a white Christmas sounds like a good thing... on paper. It looks good in the movies, and it makes for lovely photo opportunities. Reality kicked in when I got stuck trying to get out of my driveway in my 4-wheel drive SUV, and when Grandpa and I had to help my Grandma get out of the snow on Sunday night when she tried to take a step and was suddenly up to her knee in snow. Needless to say, I think the Schmitt family has had enough of the "winter wonder land". We have a wedding to attend in three days, in dresses and ballet flats. The snow... can go.

Occasionally, I scroll back and read different blog entries from the past 2 and a half years. It's amazing how quickly words can bring me back to a time or place when things were so different. I've had so many emotional moments. So many moments when my head and heart were overwhelmed. I mentioned to my mom the other day that I don't really remember my life without cancer in it. That might seem weird to you, but my mom just smiled because she understands exactly how I feel. The first 29 years of my life were wonderful but I took so many things for granted. That is no longer the case. With that being said, it can be very exhausting to live every day in the moment. Whoever said "ignorance is bliss" hit the nail on the head.

Looking at a calendar is so much different now than it used to be. There used to be days of the week, but now there are just "chemo days", "chemo off weeks", "scan days" and "result days". I see dates like April 19th or December 22nd and they now represent a cancer anniversary. They represent another year of life, for all of us. I'm grateful for those dates more than I am for most holidays. When I think of the past few years I literally picture a giant timeline of events. Having something to look forward to has been the key for everyone. Whether it was Jake's Graduation from WSU, last Christmas in the Bahamas, the wedding this weekend, etc., it is has been so important for us to look to the future. Setting goals... small goals... is the key to getting thru the week, the month, the year.

Please have a safe and happy holiday season. Take the time to stop and appreciate the things around you, and don't assume the person next to you knows how you feel about them. Share your love, and words of kindness.

Merry Christmas-
Amy