This weekend I've done my share (and probably your share too) of crying. As much as I think positively, do things that bring me joy, love with all my heart....Sometimes, I also have to "get real". For 2 and a half years I've been taking a pill to save my life. During that time, I watched my husband get diagnosed, have treatments every other week, saw improvements in his blood counts and the size of the tumors in his body. I also watched as our treatments stopped working and we had travel down a different path. Now our life is changing again. On Tuesday, we'll lay together on the infusion floor of Seattle Cancer Care and pray for changes in the right direction.
I started this blog around 9:00pm tonight and it is now 12:53. I can't sleep. I don't have answers. I don't have solutions. My heart hurts. My eyes are puffy. I believe this is another phase of a life threatening illness but honestly, I don't like it. This behavior of mine doesn't help a thing. I don't feel better after my weeping session. I get a headache if I cry too much. I don't have enough eye cream to take the puffiness away. I am an UGLY, blotchy crier. Mac and Cheese doesn't even sound good. I must be sick!
Jan Schemenauer had an amazing party today. She raised a lot of money for a great cause (Bonnie J. Addario Lung Cancer Foundation). Our local food bank will be pleasantly surprised by the generous donation from all her guests as well. Jan is an angel on Earth. Thank you my dear friend.
Rick is feeling a little better today, but he has terrible pain in his shoulder. The doctors say it's most likely pain radiating from his liver. He doesn't care where it's coming from...he just wants it to go away.
I guess I'm about done whining for tonight so I think I'll try to sleep.
I love you more than all the leaves in our yard. I'm pretending they are pretty so we don't have to rake them.