Wednesday, October 15, 2008

To infinity and beyond...

You know when you wake up some mornings and think....should I just stay in bed? Today was one of those days. Although I always have an idea what my doctors visit might look like...in my mind I tend to "pretty" it up a little... I close my eyes and imagine sunflowers in vases, the room painted a nice comforting green, a new magazine to browse through, and perhaps a bowl of peanut M & M's for the visiting patients. Instead what I saw was a plate (make that a platter) of reality. Here are the facts (as I remember them).

My lung cancer is advancing. Tarceva is not doing it's job. I am no longer on Team Tarceva.
I will be starting a clinical trial for people who took Tarceva and had good results.
My chemo will be 2 times a week (Tuesdays and Fridays) for two weeks in a row, then I'll have the third week off. I will continue to be on this routine as long as the cancer stabilizes, gets better, or I decide to stop.
Sometime in the next 2 weeks I'll have a brain MRI, CT scan, a special eye exam (apparently this drug can cause infections in the eye), have a port installed, blood work, EKG and other miscellaneous poking and proddings.

All of this might sound scary (and for a couple of hours this morning I was emotional about it), but then I realized that 30 months ago there wasn't a back up plan for my cancer. Now there is. In those thirty months research has been happening that will hopefully give me another 30 months...and so on, and so on.

The reason for the title of this blog is the manufacturer of this clinical trial is called Infinity. I thought it was an appropriate name for my new "life saver".

Dreaming and Hoping and Praying,
Dor

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry the cancer decided toadvance, I guess it hasn't ready your blog. My husband can tell yoou how wonderful the port is all his blood work comes out of it no more needles in the arms or hands. I found when I turned 50 I starting losing some brain cell so since you are also 50 abrain MRI might just be a good thing you can also tell people it is still there and fine:) Hang in there we are thinking of you, since Relay season is starting up again it might be a good time to remind cancer just who is in charge! Take Care Donna Anderson aldonna@nctv.com

CFCina said...

To Infinity and way-WAY beyond!!! Continuing to send prayers, love, happy thoughts and HOPE to both of you!!!

Lots of love from all your Relay friends in the Portland/Vancouver, WA area!!!

~ Kathy ;-)

Anonymous said...

We love you.

Anonymous said...

I love her more.

Anonymous said...

Continuing to pray so hard that you and Rick were in my dream last night (nothing bad, (mom and dad I wanted to give hugs to) Lets just hope the only side affects is the "CURE!!!" and to give others more hope when you get through this. LOVE you guys.

Tai said...

Lots of prayers and love and sunflower-filled vases for you, Dor. Don't give up the fight!

The Stemkoski's said...

Thinking of you and and keeping you in my prayers....You CAN beat it!!! Lots of love! :) -Sonya

Anonymous said...

We are here; sometimes silent, but keeping the vigil and holding you both high in love and support. XOXO

Anonymous said...

I have read and re-read your blog at least 4 times........ I started Tarceva 6 days ago and 30 months will be okay. Good luck and keep us posted on Infinity. North Carolina is behind you 100%,

Heather said...

Isn't the cancer tired of getting beat up on? Perhaps it doesn't realize the strength you hold and the army of friends that wait in the wings.
Cancer, GIVE UP ALREADY!