Friday, October 17, 2008

Thoughts of Love and Friendship

After the draining but empowering day I had on Wednesday, I gave myself a day off from the blog. Instead, Rick and I packed up a few of our belongings and headed over to Desert Aire. We have a few items to prepare for the winter and we needed to prepare ourselves for what's next on our life agenda.

After doing much research and talking and listening, I feel really confident that this new drug plan is what my body needs. I know when looking on the outside it's still hard to believe that something horrible is going on inside. Amy gave me a great example as we left the hospital on Wednesday...While we were in an elevator I asked her if she felt like this was the right choice for my survival...Amy's response....she started walking into the sliding elevator doors that weren't open, she would do it again and bounce off, then very calmly she waited for the elevator doors to open, she walked out and said "One door has closed for you mom, and another one just opened. Walk though it". Gosh, I have smart kids. I think she must have learned that from me :)

I attempted to "organize" my life on Wednesday night when I couldn't sleep. So I got on line, found a company who has free calendars that you can update and forward on to people you want to keep informed. So, I worked on it for an hour or so, forwarded it toAmy, Angie and Jake,.,.and I immediately got an e-mail back from Angie who was laughing hysterically. She said "You're trying to get US organized"? Mom are you crazy? How many fingers am I holding up? The purpose of her sarcasm is, for the past 2 1/2 years (my obsessive compulsive, organized, on time, regimented children have been going crazy due to the lack of knowing what's going on around me. I say, "oh, don't worry about it, I'll call tomorrow and see what time the appointment is" They say....write it down in your day planner so you know ahead of time. Oh, yeah, I should but I was going to have coffee with a friend instead so I lost my train of thought. Where I was headed with all of this, is I don't know if I've told them lately how proud and amazing they are, not just as our children, but how they live their lives with a purpose. They get involved with things that are bigger than themselves. People who pay life forward...are the richest folks I know. At this rate, our children could pay down the national debt. :)

Thank you for all your kind words, and love, and prayers, and laughter. Each one of you holds a very special place in my heart (hence the weight heart just keeps getting bigger to hold all of you in it...and my belly is taking care of the overload)

To infinity and beyond...


Anonymous said...

Sounds a little like me procastinate the importance. Play is important! But your kids are right.! Do your daily planner, but don't let it stress you out, if that doesn't work write on your mirror or something. Your blogs make me cry, they make my heart hurt, they make me giggle, make me laugh, they make me realize and remind me what is important to this life. Dor you are such a inspiring woman, with lots of strength, positive attitude, courage, determination, happieness, and great HUMOR. LOVES AND HUGS!!

The Stemkoski's said...

Oh wow...not sure who that first comment is from, but I couldn't agree more! I talk about you all the time to my friends and tell them what an amazing woman you are and how you share your struggles and fears, happiness and funnies, and above all, just that you share you. I feel so incredibly blessed to count you as a friend! Much love to you and your family!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Ok, have been reading for about 6 months now... Found you when researching lung cancer. My Mom was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer Dec. 2006. After a battle, we received our miracle....time. She has been in remission since June 2007. Every day is a blessing.

You and Rick are amazing people, it's no wonder that your kids are so incredible. Those apples did not fall far from the tree. : )

Yes,walk through that door, remember you are not alone....

Many, many prayers...

Anonymous said...


From a fellow "chemo-chick". If you lose your hair, keep it simple. No wigs,just go bald, buy a baseball cap that you love to keep your head warm on cold days. You would not believe how many women came up to me when I was bald, asking about my cancer and sharing their stories with me. I found it so awesome and empowering to be part of an amazing community. If I had covered up my head, I would have missed out on so very much.
The good part about chemo is that you can blame it on everything you forget - a blessing in disguise!

Love you more than all the corn candy sold this month!
L. Z.

Anonymous said...

You certainly are one in a million! I read your blog everyday and everyday I get inspired-inspired to live life to the fullest! You are loved by so many--enjoy all of the cyber hugs you get everytime somebody reads your blog!!!
Your cousins cousin! ;-)