Here I am in my 30th month of survival. I'm surrounded by love and hope. I get to plan my days according to how I feel and how the weather looks. You would think with all this positive energy surrounding me, that I would be at the top of my game. Instead, you will find me with red puffy eyes, tears streaming down my face into my cup of tea, feeling on the edge of insanity. Ok, that's not a fair assessment. I'm always on the edge of insanity. But I just feel blue.
I just got off the phone with my Tarceva buddy Diana who had a little scare with her lung cancer but everything is ok after all, Rick is doing fine with his new treatment, I got my new appliances...what more could I need?
Here's what Diana just shared with me, on days when I need to be strong I am. Days like today are considered "SAFE". Safe to let go of my anxiety, and fears. Safe to cry because I can. Safe to just say dammit this isn't fair. That's what I'm doing.
During my moments of mental awareness....I want to remind you that tonight on all the major channels there is a special called Stand up to cancer. I believe it starts at 8:00pm. Who knows, it could be the beginning of the end of cancer as we know it. If nothing else, it will give you something to watch while eating popcorn from your new microwave (oh wait, that's me).
I'm going to go now and take a little afternoon siesta. Perhaps when I wake up the sun will be shining and so will my attitude?
Dreaming with soggy eyes,
Dor
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