Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Unexpected News

Today started out as planned. We had wonderful traffic on the way to Seattle, my appointment went well. I'm going to start on an antibiotic to get rid of this sinus/respiratory thing. I'm scheduled for a scan next month, yadda, yadda.

After my appointment, we met up with my new friend Diana and her husband Kelly. We had a very nice lunch in the Seattle neighborhood of Tanglewood. Great people. I wish I would have known them earlier in my life.

After our delightful morning, we went back to the Seattle Cancer Care for Rick's CT scan results from last Thursday. This is where the day went to hell in a hand basket. The CT scan showed that Rick now has tumors on his lungs, and new tumors have appeared on his liver. Everything had been going so well on Chemo light. But that was then. This is now. Rick gets the next week off (for good behavior) and will start a whole new regimen on February 19th. I think this cancer just needs a little kick in the hopefully this new stuff called folfox and oxiplatin does the job. He'll do this for 2 months as long as he can tolerate it, then we'll scan again.

Truthfully, I didn't want to write the upbeat Doreen version tonight. Instead, I wanted to say this whole thing pisses me off. How could we be anymore positive? What more can Rick ask of his body? I swear it's at times like this that I want to light up a cigarette and say screw it. Then I remember, I hate the smell of smoke, I wouldn't know how to do it if I tried, and what is that going to prove? I need my husband to be here and healthy. I don't know how to run the riding lawn mowers, or put the tread stuff in the weedwacker. I can't fix anything (except dinner and my hair). I don't like bringing wood in for the fireplace. I certainly don't like sleeping alone. I need to be teased. I need him and love him. And I hate CANCER.

Ok, I feel better now. This is just another bump in our road. We'll be fine. We'll be better than FINE. We'll be fabulous.

Keep Dreaming Big,


Anonymous said...

Thinking of your family and keeping positive thoughts. I am a blog reader everyday and love the updates... Everything will be fine

CFCina said...

Keep fighting the fight! TOGETHER you guys will beat it!!!! Thinking and praying for you guys and your entire family!
~ Kathy C.
A friend in Hillsboro, OR

Anonymous said...

You are always in my thoughts and in my heart. Keep dreaming BIG!

Anonymous said...

I think it's time to "KICK BUTT"
Dreaming good dreams!!!

Anonymous said...

You're in our thoughts and prayers!

Tennis Star said...

Doreen I will be praying for Rick and that he can do well with his new treatments, that the cancer will stop. I am also praying for your case also, in fact many of the staff here at my Bible School are praying for you guys too.
Your blog has been very encouraging, when i read it i think of our times talking in the Athletic office. I know your high spirits and love for life has inspired many even while cancer tries to bring you down, stay strong and I might try to get one of my friends here to send her moms story with cancer.

Love you guys,

Aaron Bardon