Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Everything becomes a RED FLAG...

As I said months before in a blog, when cancer hits you, it slaps your whole family. When Angie had a cough a month ago, my brain couldn't stop thinking that it was something worse than a cold, or allergies, or pneumonia. When Amy gets a stomach ache, I think "perhaps you should have a colonoscopy". Now with Jake, it's was hard not to be alarmed when he shared his concerns about this lump. All of this is the part I never thought about, BEFORE CANCER. BC as we like to refer to it. BC we just put ice on an ache, took some Tylenol for a headache, ate a tums for a stomach ache. But now, we ask ourselves, "could this be related to something worse". Honestly, I'm sick of thinking this way. I pride myself on being upbeat, thinking positive, having high hopes. So, if I'm all of these things, why does my brain immediately go to horrible thoughts when something minor happens? I don't think there is an answer for this now so I'll just ponder it for a while and get back to you when the answer comes to me.

Yesterday morning was the first time in a long time I woke up without a headache. I was so happy. Until around 2:00 when the headache took on a life of it's own and I went to bed last night around 9:00 with the worst headache I've had in a very long time. Today I'm feeling better. Let's hope I'm on the mend.

Rick began having side effects yesterday from the chemo pills he's been taking. It is called hand/foot syndrome. It has only effected his feet so far. He is walking very gingerly this morning because of the pain he is having. He is beginning to develop blisters on them as well. We're following some of the suggestions to ease the side effects. He isn't complaining about it, but I can tell he's hurting. The site of his tooth extraction is still bothering him as well. I don't think our bodies heal like they used to. I'm just thankful that we're here for each other and we can laugh at our ailments. Even if we don't grow really old with each other like we had planned, we can still feel like it!

I wish today's message was something fun and uplifting...but I've decided that I was suppose to give you an important message instead. Our body is a lot like a best friend. Everything it tells us is important even if we don't want to hear it.

The words on the side of my Starbuck's coffee cup had an important message the other day. It said something like "it's physically impossible to listen with your mouth open". I'm going to try it! Mouth closed...Listening.

Dream Big,


Anonymous said...

Just when you think you can't handle much are given another load. I pray for your family often and wish wellness on you all. Miss you much, but it would be much more if I did not read your blog every morning for the past year (it's my home page and somthing that i look forward to each morning when I turn on my computer) Thanks for sharing your stories with us all you are teaching people like me how precious life is and quickly it can change.
Your cousin...Teresa~

CFCINA said...

Continued "happy thoughts" coming your way for Oregon! YOU ALL (you too Jake) are making a difference. Telling your continuing story and reminding us to listen to our bodies, do self exams and not to give up!

THANK YOU for continuing to share!

~ Kathy C.
A friend in Hillsboro, OR