Monday, July 23, 2007

No chemo tomorrow

This morning like a really good wife, I called Rick's doctor and tattled to him about how Rick has been feeling. He just called the house tonight and talked to Rick. He said he wants him feeling better before he has another round of chemo, so they are not doing it tomorrow so he will be ready for the liver radiation next week. He isn't scheduled for chemo again until the 6th or 7th of August. Does anyone ever get sick of hearing about sickness? I sure do. (I am glad that Rick has a little break)

Today I called my dear friend MaryAnne, who is my spiritual guide, and the best banana cream pie maker in the world. When I talk to her, she fills my soul with good thoughts and positive energy. We all need a MaryAnne in our life. (She also cared for Amy and Angie when they were little girls which is one of the reasons they turned out so amazing)

When I was done talking to MaryAnne, I invited my friend Cathy over for lunch and the opportunity to catch up on the past couple of weeks. We had a nice visit (but it was a little rushed because I was meeting Angie for a movie) All in all, I had a great day.

Now, some serious stuff. Shortly after I was diagnosed, I found that I had a passion, a true passion, for changing the face of lung cancer. You've all heard me mention it many times. Recently, however, I've felt this passion start to fade. Not because I don't want to change the stigma that our world has about lung cancer, but...because I feel a betrayal to Rick and Pam. It's hard for me to concentrate on lung cancer only when Rick and Pam are both getting treatment for a different kind of cancer. I know this seems ridiculous because no one has ever made me feel this way. This is my own problem. When I look in the mirror (which I think I need to do more often - my hair looked terrible this afternoon) I see a healthy, young (ok, middle aged), vibrant woman. I don't see sickness. Neither do other people. That's where my problem comes in. How can I focus on something that already seems clear? I'm doing well. I'm a lucky lung cancer patient. With all that being said, I know that lung cancer needs publicity. It needs advocates. It needs research. It needs a better survival rate. It needs me. So, I'm going to change my way of thinking. I'm a wife, and a mother....and a multi-tasker. I can do it all. I can keep my passion alive and still do what I can for other forms of cancer. Wow, this blog thing really is a form of therapy. I just saved myself $150 in therapist charges.

Now if I could just cure cancer with this blog I would really have something to brag about.

Dreaming big-

1 comment:

Bonnie said...

Rick & Doreen: My niece told me about your blog and last night I sat down to read most of it. You and your family are amazing. My sister is a cancer survivor and so I know a little about it but the faith, humor and good friends and prayers and well just about everything about your family is such a boost to anyone who reads it. You are kept in my prayers from now on. Keep on dreaming.