Sunday, June 24, 2007

Too much time to think

Not much went on today. We slept in. Went to lunch (Rick is still moving slowly), ran a few errands then came back to the house. We surprised Bob and Dy with dinner tonight, New York Steaks, red potatoes with garlic, sauteed mushooms and onions....They did the dishes. It worked out perfectly.

What I did have today was...way too much time on my hands to think. I guess when I'm at home, I have multiple things going on all at once so it doesn't give me time to sit and reflect. Or face reality, whatever you want to call it. Today, I worried about greiving. I feel like I've already been greiving, but for what? Our life is pretty great, all things considered. Is it ok to grieve about lost health? I watched the movie signs last night so I worried that I was suppose to notice a "sign" about life and I haven't figured it out yet. Then I worried about aliens (because they were in the movie) I worried about how sad my parents and children get when we talk seriously. I've been worrying about Thursday and hope that Rick's body will handle the procedure well. I worried that we would run out of gas before we filled up (honestly, our gas light has been on since we got to Spokane). Enough about all this. We filled the tank, that's one thing to take off my worry list.

I didn't prepare very well for this trip. I packed a sad book, no knitting, nothing humerous, a Suduko book with only hard puzzles left, oh...and some work from school. I've read all Dy's magazines, her house is spotless so I can't clean anything for her, Bob just added 83 new channels to their already 590 channels...so it takes all day just to find Ellen and Oprah. Perhaps I should work on that book I started a year ago "I love you more than".

I love you more than all the things I worried about today. (You ARE LOVED)

Dream Big,
Doreen

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Remember that fear (or worry) is the opposite of faith. Speak words of faith over your fear. Don't lose your joy, that's where your strength is and YOU are one strong woman. Love and prayers from Monroe.

Amy Schmitt said...

It is completely normal to worry about things... or at least that's what I am trying to convince myself to believe. I am going thru the same things you are. I am on the East Coast trying to enjoy my much needed vacation but I too am away from home and the different environment makes me think.

I am worried that I'm not at the hospital to tell dad to be strong before he goes into surgery. I'm worried that you will cry and nobody will be there to hold your hand. I worry that you will have too much time on your hands and start to think. I worry about your bad throat and how you always put your health second to all of ours. It is normal to worry. You are positive and upbeat 99% of the time so don't beat yourself up for thinking too much. It's ok to be human (I'm pretty sure you give me the same advice on a regular basis.) Keep your head up.

Sending happy thoughts and lots of hugs-

Amy

Anonymous said...

I have been catching up on some blog reading and found the lime tree very funny and decided were all crazy if we dont get planting. One of us is sure to get some donated right? Dor- do your best to relax and feel comforted knowing you and Rick both are in good hands these days with friendship and medicine. HEY,
I say you have the perfect perscription, after all
Friendship is the best medicine :)

Kelly

Anonymous said...

a little funny to make you smile and laugh,, perhaps for one minute take your mind off of everything that you are facing...

What is green and red and goes 95 mph????


A frog in a blender......