Last night we had a really fun night at dinner, watched football and addressed invitations to a shower. We all got a pretty good night's sleep. Then...we had to wake up. In retrospect, I wish we had just stayed in bed. My port was installed without a problem (although I am pretty sore and drugged up). When I was done in recovery my sister in law and I went up to Rick's doctors appointment where the girls were sitting with him. I knew the second I entered the room that there was much more to the story than I wanted to hear. Rick's cancer is getting worse.
Due to Rick's cancer getting worse, they have taken him completely off the clinical trial, and he didn't have chemo today. It is not known yet if he has the right gene for the next drug Urbitux, so until we know anything, they won't be giving him the new drug. He will be having chemo with me next Tuesday to see if a different combination of the drugs he has tried in the past will have any effect on the cancer cells.
We're all feeling overwhelmed. Rick seems dazed and sad. I wish I could do more but I just had my little surgery this morning so I'm a little drugged up and that only makes me cry more.
We are a hopeful, happy, competitive family but today it has been hard to find a smile. We can all use a nap and some time to re-group.
I might write more later, but I'm feeling kind of cruddy myself.