Saturday, December 23, 2006

Mad as Hell

Well, it hit me today. That smiling face, it's gonna be alright, we'll beat this thing....blah, blah... I'm sick of it. Today, I just want to be mad. I'm not sure who I'm mad at. But apparently, it's one of the emotions I've be supressing and it's time to let it OUT. AAAHHHH.... I just don't want to have a "nice" attitude today. I'll have an "attitude" but it's not going to be a nice one. Dang it!

Just about the time we adjust (if that's what you call it) we get kicked in the gut with the news about Rick. I'm wondering if we built our house on a toxic landmine? We work hard everyday, love others with all our heart and soul, pay our bills, laugh out loud, eat healthy, root for the hometeams...and we get this?

How do we make this okay for our children? They're amazing souls who deserve to have both parents around admiring their accomplishments, guiding them during times of trouble, watching football on Sundays with them. They're so sad. It's hard for them to smile right now, and I love it when they smile. Those pearly white teeth brighten my days.

I know we'll find out more information on Tuesday, but today I'm impatient. Surprise, Surprise. I promise we'll keep you all posted.

Ok, thanks for letting me be a whiner. I guess sometimes I need it. Like today.

Dreaming MAD.


Anonymous said...

Dear Doreen,
You have a right to be mad as hell! I have tried to think of something to write since I heard the news from Erika, (the girls stopped by to see her the other night). First I have to tell you I felt like I had been kicked in the gut, I can only imagine what you felt along with Rick. The only thing that I can clearly say is that if anyone could pull all this off it's going to be your family. I can not forget the feeling I had after spending the day with you guys going to the island. All I could feel was what a strong, solid, loving unit you guys have going for you and I thought how lucky you all are to have that. I know this is such a stinking set back but don't let your guard down yet, you guys WILL overcome, I know it in my heart. If there is anything I can do to make this road easier please call, or email, or something. You are all in my heart and prayers! I love you all! Karla Roper aka/Anderson/Campbell/Titera
Thought you might need a smile

Cammy Carlson said...

I want you and your kids to know I understand all your feelings, anger and pain. If your kids ever just want to sit and vent I am here. I went through this with both my mom and dad and know all the feelings that are going throug all of you. It sucks, is non-understanding and not right at all. Nothing can be said to make it better or okay to live with. Know that I admire all of you for your strenght and love for each other this is what will get your through the long hard days and is truely the only thing that matters in the end is love each other and never taking a moment from your living days for granted. I try to remember that but life can get so busy. If you ever need a thing know your can ask us. If your kids need to just sit and vent or cry I am here even though they don't know me that well or at all. Love to you all and treasure each day together. Your friend Cammy and family.