Tonight will be a sleepless night

I'm so unsure of what lies ahead of us tomorrow that I can't imagine closing my eyes tonight. I know Rick is finally beginning treatment and that is a good thing. We can't begin to heal until that process begins. We'll get through this one step at a time...I just hope they let us sit down and take a break every once in a while. I'm not up for a marathon.

My restlessness doesn't just stem from the unknown, it also stems from knowing. Although everyones reaction to the chemo drugs is different, we do know life as we know it will change. When I was first diagnosed, I used to say only good will come out of this, and there is a reason for everything, but as I look on our journey starting tomorrow, I can't begin to think of anything in this pitcure that looks like a good idea.

I cleaned the house, washed the bedding & baked oatmeal/raisin cookies today(I wasn't paying attention to the directions and used a tablespoon of baking soda - instead of a teaspoon - so I had to triple the batch) Did I mention that I'm still baking cookies?

I'll write more tomorrow and let you know how everything went.

Love you more than all the oatmeal cookies I've baked tonight.

Dream Big,
Dor




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