Stop looking at that photo

I'm not sure what I was thinking when I posted that self portrait yesterday, but let me apologize for any pain it may have caused you. Have I gone crazy?

I've had an earache/throat ache for the past few days so I went to the doctor today just to make sure I wasn't coming down with anything (other than my pre-existing lung cancer). Surprise, Surprise, I have an ear infection. Isn't that a little kid disease? Oh, well...it's nothing a little antibiotic can't clear up. I've been resting since I got home with a heating pad on the side of my head....I should take a photo now if you really want to see something beautiful...Ugh!

Tomorrow (Tuesday) is our big day at the Cancer Care Alliance for Pam. I know she's anxious, but ready to get on with a treatment plan. Keep us in your thoughts (while they check out her calcium deposits). Rick seems to be feeling better since his treatment last week. He has the rest of this week off, then chemo again next Tuesday. His CEA number is down to 3.5 (from it's original 59.8) The chemo is obviously working. Yahoo!

Yesterday I planted 36 sunflower seeds in a starter packet in my garden window (I have more but I want to stagger their bloom times). I plan on having sunflowers blooming all summer and fall. When they actually make flowers, I'll post photos...

Love you more than all the apples in Wenatchee.

Dream Big,
Doreen

Groggy Blog

I just got out of bed. 10:34am. I'm not proud (but I am very rested). What has gotten in to me? I never sleep this late. As a matter of fact, sleeping is a foreign word for me sometimes. But with sleep, comes beauty...Or not. Why do they say beauty sleep? If you've ever had a really good nights sleep, don't you look bad when you wake up? Your hair is all smashed, and you have pillow or sheet marks on your face. What so beautiful about that? I'm posting a photo for proof.

I was the biggest loser at Bunco last night. With this Bunco group if you're the biggest loser, you get $20. So, in fact, I was also one of the biggest winners. We had a great time and laughed a bunch.

Rick and Jake are already outside again, playing farmer. They worked very hard yesterday. Hopefully, today will just be a little finish work on the fence. I have a few more things I want to do around the house today, but otherwise, I'm going to lay low as well. Heck, if I don't get started on them soon, it will be evening. I'd better get going.

Love you more,
Dor

More Upgrades...

Today they layed wood flooring down our stairs. It looks amazing. I can't believe this is the same house we've been living in for over 20 years. Everyday I wake up and look at all our improvements and think, "why didn't we do this a long time ago"? Oh well, it was worth the wait.

We went to a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) Auction last night and bought a few things we didn't need, had dessert (that we didn't need)...but it was for a good cause. My sister-in-law Dawn is active in the group and asked us to join them. We had a nice time and visited with some people we hadn't seen in a while.

I've been cooking and cleaning today (while the workers were here). Rick, Jake, My Dad, and Rick's Dad have all been putting up a new fence for our cows (I call them cows but Rick says they're steers...I'll just refer to it as the other red meat). We only have 3 steers at the house right now. (Not actually in our house, they are wandering around our acreage) They're eating grain and getting ready to go into someones freezer. Sorry, all you vegetarians. When you grow up in a farming community, you eat beef and fresh veggies. :(

Tonight we're going to play Bunco with a group of friends. It should be fun. If nothing else, the company will be great and I think there will be wine. Or if I don't win, I'll whine. Either way, wine/whine is involved.

Better get back to working. I'm on a roll and I don't want to get distracted.

Dream Big,
Dor

Happy Friday

Good morning my friends. I'm heading to work today (we're interviewing for a new head boys basketball coach) and I have lots to do. Tonight we're going to an auction with Rick's brother and his wife and some friends. I'm looking forward to it. What do I need?

Rick didn't sleep well last night. I only mentioned this because he's actually been sleeping a lot better lately. I hope it's just because he was asleep on the couch watching basketball earlier in the evening.

We had a successful Relay for Life meeting last night. It was amazing to see how many people showed up, we do have 72 team - up from the 30 at last year's event, so I guess it's no wonder we filled the room. Last night after the relay meeting, I visited with my friend Bev (who I haven't seen in years - except at a relay meeting) for an hour in the parking lot. It's funny how we have friends who we haven't seen in years and we can just pick up where we left off. We could have talked for hours more, but Grey's Anatomy was on. Just kidding, I TIVO'd it!

I want to send a special congratulations to Taryn and Andrew who announced their engagement a couple of days ago. Thanks for including me in the group of friends who got the message. :)
Remember: A happy marriage is a long conversation that seems all to short.

I'm due at work soon, so I'd better get off the computer.

Have a wonderful weekend. Plant flowers. Mow your lawn (if the rain ever stops). Eat dessert first.

Love you more than all the laps that will be walked at Relay for Life 2007!
Dream Big,
Dor

The Day After....

Chemo went as planned. We stopped at Dick's for a burger. Came home. Aunt Fran and Uncle Chuck stopped by for a nice little visit. I made dinner. Went over and played with my niece for a little bit (she was driving her mom a little crazy...and she was asking for AUNTIE), came home and went to bed. Then sometime in the wee hours, Rick started feeling nauseous. Luckily for us we have 4 different kinds of nausea pills to choose from and the first ones seemed to work (but not immediately). I got him a cold rag for his head, rubbed his back and he seemed to feel a little better. Once the nausea hit however, I could tell it was going to be a restless night. We tossed and turned for a long time, finally fell asleep and we didn't wake up (except to take phone calls) until 10:30am. I think the sleep did us both good. I feel a little congested today but hopefully it's just from being in bed for so long.

Today, I'm working from home. My sub (who is actually my new friend Sheryl) is at the office, but I have a couple of things I'm working on that will be much easier to do without interruption at home. Rick just decided he should go to work for an hour or two. He needs to check the mail, make some calls and go to the bank. I told him I would be down there to get him if he stayed too long. We (or maybe it was just me) decided that "I'm the boss on days when he's getting chemo...and he still has his fanny pack on, so watch out".

The other day I mentioned that I was going to speak at an occasion in May and I thought...what will I say? Well, while Rick was getting his chemo and sleeping at the hospital yesterday, I started to write, and write, and write... The words just kept flowing. I'm not sure how good it is but it was easier than I thought.

I'd better go now. I've got things to do. Stuff to clean. Shirts to iron.

Dream Big,
Doreen

Twas the night before chemo...

...and all through our house, I was stirring and couldn't go to sleep. I know it doesn't rhyme, but not all stories do. It's only 9:00pm but I can already feel my anxiety level rising. If any of you are up by 5:30am call me. I'm sitting here thinking....oh, great. Now, no one will be able to sleep tonight. We'll all be waiting for the 5:30 alarm to go off. Sorry, but if I have to share this anxiety with someone, who better than all of you. I'm nice that way. Sharing and all.

Tonight, I was asked to be a guest speaker at a "Friendships and Chocolate" gathering in May. I'm suppose to talk about friendships (which I think I have a little knowledge) and what they mean in my life (which is immeasurable). I'm sort of thinking, maybe they could just have me write a blog on it, then they could read it. I'm already a little nervous. That's ok. It will give me something new to worry about. What will I wear? What if my hair looks dumb that day? Will I stutter? Who want's to listen to me blabber, or blubber? I'm going to do it, however. With a smile. And a good attitude. (and maybe even a new outfit)

After work (yes, I worked at my job again today...don't look so surprised) I headed to Angie's house and played with my granddog for a little while. After playing, we went to the plant farm at Smokey Point. It was really nice and we bought some beautiful flowers (Angie didn't need much as her yard already looks beautiful) After a quick stop at Costco, I headed home. On the way to Angie's, I talked to Amy, who was on her way home from qualifying her shooting and defensive tactics for her job today (she has to do this a couple of times a year). She never has to use her gun at work (I hope I didn't jinx her) and she didn't grow up with any guns in the house, but for some reason (I think it may have been the influence from the Dukes of Hazzard) she's a sharpshooter. She did not get this talent from her parents. We're proud of her just the same. Now, be careful.

I have a few photos to share from this weekend. I hope you enjoy them.

Love to you all,
You know the drill...Dream Big!
Dor

Friends

Tonight was not a good night for me. For some reason my mind wouldn't turn off. I decided to sit on my couch and watch TV. It didn't take long before I remembered why I rarely turn on the television. My mind continued to wander. I thought about the stress I have at work, the sadness I experienced yesterday at the funeral, the friend who let me down, etc. and I actually cried for a few minutes. I'm not sure what had gotten into me but it was one of those moments that I haven't had in a while. Just as I reached for a Kleenex and buried my head into my pillow, my cell phone beeped with a text message. The message was from my dear friend Jessi in Virginia. All it said was, "I'm thinking about you. I hope you had a great day." I smiled.

The past year has been overwhelming at times. I've had some bad moments when I find myself reaching for a Kleenex... or better yet a hug... but there have been just as many overwhelming "happy" moments. Whether good or bad... overwhelming moments are extremely draining. Its in these moments of weakness when friends... real friends... come thru. Although Jessi didn't know that she was going to send that message and help me snap out of an extremely sad moment, the fact is, she did.

Had you asked me two or three years ago who my best friend was I would have been quick to throw out a few names. Sadly, those are not the same names I would tell you if asked today. It's not that we don't get along, it's just that troubled times bring out the true friends. There are a few people who have certainly proved that they care enough to be there in bad times as well as the good times. Real friends are the people who would get in the car and come to you at any hour if you asked for a hug.... regardless of what time they have to wake up the next morning. They are the ones who stick by your side even when you do something stupid... yet again. They don't judge you. They might not call you all the time, but whenever you talk you can pick up where you left off without that awkward silence. I have learned so much about what a friend truly is. I would take a handful of people I know I can count on over a large group of people who are there for me when it's convenient.

I try to find something positive in every situation. Some days and some situations are much easier to find that ray of sunshine. Other days and other situations it's a struggle. Over time I've learned that a good friend doesn't come along very often. I recently opened a fortune cookie that said, "What's new is not valuable... and what's valuable is not new." At first I thought nothing of it, but now I think it is referring to friends. I'm grateful to have that handful whom I hold close to my heart.

This time it just happened to be you Jess.... and for that, I thank you.

Amy

Contentment

We often look in the mirror, or around our houses, at our jobs, or at our loved ones and think ~ we need to make changes. "My plan didn't look quite like this". It isn't often that we just savor what we have, who we have, and how lucky we are to have all of it.

I own a book called "50 things that really matter" and one of the topics is contentment. I won't tell you what the story in the book was about but I will tell you that it made me think. Most of us think contentment means having everything you wish for. The reality is, contentment is finding a little happiness is whatever life throws your way. That's what I'm going to do in survival year number 2.

Somedays I wake up and think "oh, I'll write about planting flowers outside" then I have to read back in my own blog because I can't remember if I already thought that was a good idea or if it just came to my mind. So, if I start to repeat myself, just bear with me. (I'm blaming it on the meds I take) Again...you'll notice that was just a random thought. What has come over me?

We had a nice celebration for Jake's birthday on Friday night with a family dinner at a local restaurant. It's great having us all together again. There it is. Contentment.

Dream Big,
Dor

End of a busy week

I forgot how tired I can get after working the entire week. Every weekend is filled with odd jobs to do, people to visit with, parties to go to... If I work 5 days in a row then play on the weekends ~ when will I find the time to rest? I'm going to have to re-think this work thing. :)

It's Jake's birthday tomorrow, so we (Amy, Angie, Dave, Val, Rick, Megan, and I) went out for his birthday dinner tonight at Amigo's. Megan flew over from Pullman for his birthday so he's a happy boy. After dinner, Amy and Angie went to the high school and helped prepare for Mike Chandler's memorial service tomorrow. Dinner was fun and very good(though we didn't have them put the sombrero on Jake's head and sing happy birthday ~ with Angie teaching at an elementary school she couldn't help but think about lice in hats...and who knew what was in the sombrero?).

I'll write more tomorrow when I've had a good nights sleep. Have a safe and happy weekend.

Dream Big,
Dor

1 year and many smiles later...

I hate to sound like the father of Anna Nicole's baby...but, "I told you so". Just kidding. I did however, say "I'm going to be the one in five who survives this first year" and I think I did it with flying colors. If I were to grade myself on my performance, I would give me an A.

I went to bed last night with a terrible headache so I woke up this morning feeling like I had a hangover. No such luck. No fun was involved. No partying til the cows came home. No staying up all night. Just a headache hangover where you move your head and your brains join up with it 5 seconds later. So, I took my time getting ready for work and arrived late to a desk with flowers and cards and a wonderful piece of art designed by Jennifer Kelly (a teacher I work with). She drew caricatures of my family and I standing in the middle of our entire school staff. She had these duplicated & laminated and is selling them for $10 each to raise money for her Relay for Life team. The print made me cry (surprise, surprise) but now that I'm over her initial thoughtfulness, each time I look at it I can't help but smile (or laugh) at her interpretation of all of us.

This will be a bittersweet weekend. Jake's birthday is Saturday along with Mike Chandler's memorial service. Mike will be missed by many, but never forgotten. With the effort of the school board and our community, we are hoping to rename the softball field after Mr. Chandler. I'll keep you posted if this happens and when we plan on dedicating it.

Just think???? 1 year from today...I'll be writing to you again, telling you how good I feel and that Rick and Pam are doing great. Laughter makes the time fly by.

Love you more than all the days, and months, and years that I'll be writing this blog.

Dream Big,
Doreen

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM

One year ago today you called my cell phone crying and told me you had cancer. Statistically they told you that only 1 in 5 people with lung cancer would live a year from the date of diagnosis. You immediately said that you would be the one, and nobody is surprised to see that you are here today to talk about it. Attitude is everything. Your desire to be alive and an abundance of love is why you are battling this disease head on. Statistics can't measure love. Here's to another happy and healthy year.

Hugs and Kisses-
Amy

364 days and counting...

As I sit here tonight, I can't help but reminisce about my life. One year ago tonight, our lives were uneventful, I had an annoying cough, the sun was shining, Jacob was getting ready to turn 21,and I was anxiously awaiting test results from my lung biopsy. I was convinced I had T.B. (though I wasn't sure if people still got it), or I had a new strain of bacteria (perhaps something I picked up in Mexico), or even the bird flu (though I wasn't around any birds). Instead, I got lung cancer. Wow, that's a word I've heard more than I'd like to (and I'm going to out on a limb to say you're tired of it too). What I also received, was hope, courage, new friends, deepened friendships, undying love, strengthened faith, and the ability to DREAM BIGGER than I thought possible.

I'm here because of you. Your prayers, love, support and laughter (along with the TARCEVA) have given me so much more to look forward to. Thank you from the bottom of my lungs....

Dream Big,
Doreen

American Tragedy

As I write this blog tonight, I can't help but think of the friends and family members of all those people lost in the shootings at Virginia Tech yesterday. As I watched the news tonight, they told the stories of these young lives and what their hopes and dreams were. What a loss it is to lose so many amazing people. This is just another confirmation that we are never guaranteed another day, so live each day as if it were your last.

Good news. Pam got an appointment at Seattle Cancer Care on May 1st. What a May day that will be. When we're done talking to her team of doctors I think we should go to Pike Place Market and get ourselves some flowers. Any excuse for us to go shopping....

I'll be working everyday this week to give my sub a break. She does a wonderful job, but this week while her husband is home from his job, I told her I could "sub" for her. I've had a great time, but I must say it takes everything I have to get out of bed in the morning. I'd better get to bed now so I can get some beauty sleep.

Love you more,

Dream Big,
Dor

I'm off to work

Just wanted to wish you all a great week. It might be raining where you are, your copy machine might be broken, you might be having a root canal, but look on the bright side; the sun will shine again, the copy repairman is on his way, and you're tooth will feel better once it quits hurting... Life really is what we make of it. Believe that better things are ahead and they will be.

I attended a Southern Living at Home open house yesterday at my friend Jan's. She had a great fundraising idea. She held this party (she's a distributor) and her commission would be donated back to Relay for Life. I visited with lots of people I hadn't seen in a while, the food was spectacular, her house looked beautiful (as always) and she doubled her fundraising goal. Now that's what I call a successful day. Congrats, Jan.

I'm looking outside right now and flowers are popping out everywhere. I do LOVE SPRING (and you).

Dream Big,
Dor

Somewhere over the RAINBOW

My camera doesn't do this photo justice, but I must say, this was one of the most beautiful rainbows I've ever seen. It was a full arch (though I've only given you a glimpse of it) and had deep colors. What a great way to end a perfect day.

It's our anniversary today and I awoke to new barstools in our kitchen, from my honey. We went out for breakfast, shopped for some flowers, washed cars (I just watched...Jake helped), planted flowers (Rick just watched...Angie helped), visited with our neighbors Jeff and Erika, had steak and prawns for dinner and now we are relaxing for the evening. I'm thinking about putting a movie in. The problem is, we'll wake up at 3:00am with the TV blaring without a clue how the movie ended. I'm speaking from experience.

Rick isn't feeling great this evening...I'm sure he's overdoing it. He had a slight fever this afternoon but Tylenol seemed to help it. Let's hope it's nothing to worry about.

I'm going to get off the computer now and spend some time with the "ONE" I love.

Dream Big,
Dor

No Swearing Allowed

I'm going to try to write this blog tonight without swear words. Sometimes, however, you need to use them to make your point. I'll do my best to keep it clean.

I went with Pam to her follow up appointment today after work. What we thought would be a simple, "looks good, now get going on your radiation", turned into, "Hummmm...it looks like we still didn't get it all". The solution to this is...try one more surgery and if it still shows cancer cells, then a mastectomy is probably the next step. WHAT? You've gotta be kidding me. I thought the solution the first time was to do this little lumpectomy. Simple. Wham Bam. You can go shopping the next day. How could this have turned into surgery #3 with a 4th one in the wings? I really am optimistic about Pam's prognosis, but come on... how good can 3 surgeries be on a 60 (oops, I mean 47) year old woman? Or, anyone for that matter. As you know, I think I'm just a few credits short of my M.D. so I've talked Pam into getting that second opinion she needs (at least I hope I've talked her into it). It's not that I don't trust the doctor or his judgement, it's that I want her to have a surgeon that works hand in hand with an oncologist. That is the important step right now. Being her own best advocate is the greatest thing Pam can do for her health. After the appointment we had that glass of wine and dinner like we had planned, but with the news we received earlier, it was all hard to swallow.

Rick and I are feeling pretty good all things considered. Hopefully the rain will stop soon and we can get back out in the yard doing some "dirt" therapy. I don't have much more to paint or to rearrange in the house so we've moved outside for a little update.

Have a wonderful weekend. Don't forget to "LOVE THE ONES YOUR WITH"

Dream Big,
Dor

Life is what we make it - Make yours memorable

Today was a day. Not JUST another DAY. But a wonderful day. Nothing exciting happened. But...it HAPPENED and that's what's important. I worked a little this morning, the sun was shining, I visited with a friend who is expecting her first child in August (it was the first time I'd seen her since her pregnancy... she looks great), went with Rick to his chemo disconnect, it was still sunny when we got out of the hospital, stopped at Costco for a king size version of everything on our grocery list, went to a baseball game (didn't get rained on), attended a Relay for Life meeting (which by the way, we've raised over $45,000 dollars so far), then home for a late dinner. This is why my first year of survival went by so fast. I figured if you stay this busy, cancer has no chance of catching up to you. Ok, now that I'm sitting down and telling you what I've done...I'm exhausted. It must be about bed time.

Tonight at the Relay for Life meeting I sat by my dear friend Jan. We've been friends for a long time but we don't see each other as much as we used to. I remembered tonight why I love her so much. It doesn't matter how much time passes between the two of us because we pick up right where we left off. She makes me laugh, is so incredibly giving, and a true friend. I love her kids and her husband (Ok Rodg, knock it off. I didn't mean it that way). Everyone needs a Jan in their life. But, please don't take her. She's mine.

Pam and I go to her doctor's appointment tomorrow. Mostly, so she can look at her cute doctor. But don't worry, I'll be there taking notes and listening carefully to the last biopsy/surgery reports. When the appointment is over she'll want to celebrate with a glass of red wine (with ice in it) and brag about how alike we are. She tells everyone she wants to be like me that's why she got cancer. I want to be just like her, that's why I'm thinking about dying my hair copper penny red. Or not. Perhaps, I'll move by a lake, or get a P.T. cruiser instead. The only way I want Pam to be like me is to put up a fight against cancer and never give up.

Although, I joke about cancer whenever I get a chance (it helps me to cope), it isn't a laughing matter. It also doesn't identify who I am. Sometimes I feel like I am only Doreen Schmitt, (the woman with lung cancer who never smoked) or Doreen Schmitt, wife of Rick Schmitt who has colon cancer, or friend of Pam who has breast cancer. But really, the old Doreen hasn't changed. She's still there enjoying whatever is thrown at her, working hard on projects that are dear to her heart, loving life (however crazy it might seem). Today I read a saying in my book called Timeless Thoughts on Love. I thought I would share....
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength;
loving someone deeply gives you courage"
I love you all more than you'll ever know....

Enjoy your Friday!

Love Deeply and Dream Big,
Dor

Doreen's Check-Up...

I had a monthly doctor's visit today in Seattle. One of the neat things about going to the Seattle Cancer Care or the University of Washington is that they are teaching hospitals. So, many times you don't just see your doctor, but rather your doctor and someone else. Today's guest was actually a new oncologist pharmacist. Dr. Eaton was proud to say "Doreen is a great patient who has shown no apparent side effects". I could have told him that over the phone but he reminded me I am not a doctor. So, I need to have bloodwork every month and scans every few months. He told me I needed to start taking my medication to help me sleep better but I don't want to depend on them to make me sleep. He said, this will be the least of my worries. Take the pills, get some sleep and who knows, I might feel rested, perky, alert. After my appointment, my sister in law Dawn and niece Darlena and I went to Pike Place Market for a couple of hours. We enjoyed our day, I got a couple of hydrangas, and we watched the ferries come in while we were having lunch. When we returned home, I went outside (it was a beautiful day) and painted our front porch. It looks terrific. Now, I need to get some flower boxes planted (or perhaps buy some new ones). If you have to go to Seattle for a doctors appointment, why not make a day of it?

I know Amy told you about our friend, Mike Chandler, but I'd like to add a little more to the story. About 10 years ago, Mike became very ill and needed a kidney transplant. At that time we didn't know if Mike would make it out of the hospital. After much searching, it was discovered that his wonderful wife Becky, was a match. Mike's transplant was a success until a few years ago, at which time he had to go back on dialiysis. Though we will all miss Mike, I'm sure he would tell you how blessed he felt to have those extra 10 years that were nearly taken from him. I was fortunate to know Mike in many different roles; Coach, Co-Worker and Friend - all of which he could talk your ear off about if you had the time. He will be dearly missed. :)

Tonight's dinner menu: Mini teryaki meatloaves, mashed red potatoes (with the skins on) and cooked carrots. Does this sound like down home cookin' or what? I'm not sure why I told you what we were having for dinner...but you know me RANDOM THOUGHTS (my new middle name).

I have a couple of errands to run tonight before I head for bed. So good-bye, sleep well and dream big dreams.

Love, Dor

Thanks for Everything Coach....

It has been a while since I've sat down and written an entry on the blog. It's not that I don't care, or can't find time... it's just that I haven't had anything "important" to talk about. Tonight I want to talk about something.... someone.... important.

As some of you might already know, Mike Chandler passed away this morning, at the young age of 55. For those of you who didn't know Mike, he had been a teacher at the High School for many years. Mike was also involved with athletics in Stanwood. He was my softball coach in the mid '90's and stuck with the team as they transitioned to fastpitch. Mike, better known as MC to his players, was a great human being. He was a fireball at times and was always good for a laugh or two. Highly respected by his peers and often looked up to as a father-figure by his students and players, Mike will be missed.

The Schmitt family sends their thoughts and prayers to Becky and the rest of the Chandler family.

With happy memories but a sad heart,

Amy

Blog #275, Chemo Eve, Family Photo

You know how I dislike coming up with a title, so I've given you a few to choose from. Call it whatever you wish, the words are what count anyway.

We had a wonderful Easter yesterday. Starting with 8:30am church service at Camano Chapel (all 5 of us went together), then Easter dinner and Darlena's birthday at Jeff & Dawn's house, then back home for a relaxing evening, the day was perfect. This photo isn't great, but you get the idea....we clean up pretty well.

Last year at this time I was anticipating a doctor's appointment with a specialist regarding my pneumonia that wouldn't clear up. I was attending mom's weekend at WSU, then went to Spokane for an Athletic Director's meeting. Never in my wildest dream would I have imagined my life taking the turn it did. Lucky for me (us) we've gained so much more than we've lost over this past year (besides weight). Miracles do happen...you've just gotta believe!

I worked today (at my real job) so I'm exhausted tonight. It's not as though I run around all day, it's just mentally draining and that's what wears me out. I forget how much information I have stored in my head until someone asks me something and "poof" it pops out of a dusty, cobwebbed hole in the back of my brain. Thank goodness it's only my short term memory I struggle with. No kidding, if they made velcro post it notes that I could hang on my clothes to remind me where I'm going or what I'm wandering around the grocery store for, I would buy some (but I would probably forget what I bought them for).

Hopefully chemo will go a little easier on Rick this week. He just hasn't felt the same since the episode after the last chemo cocktail. His treatment isn't as early as it usually is ~ so I'm hoping to be able to sleep better tonight since I won't be afraid of sleeping in. As a matter of fact, a little shut eye sounds good right now so I think I'll call it a day.

Love you more than the IRS loves our money...

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Happy Easter & Happy Birthday Darlena Jo

It's 4:30 am and I've been up for about an hour. I didn't feel well last night and I fell asleep before 8:00 so I must have had all the sleep I need. I'm still not feeling like myself, but it's ok. I had stuff to do that didn't get done last night, so I worked on my projects this morning. I'm going to lay back down after I finish this blog and see if I can catch a little more shut eye.

We're celebrating today with a family outing to church, then lunch and a birthday celebration (Darlena is turning 2) at my brother-in-law/sister-in-laws house. I really wanted to have an Easter Egg Hunt, but shhh...you know about the EEHD. I told Amy and Angie (on their cell phones - separately) I wanted them to wear their bonnets to church today and no joke...they each said "oh, mine's dirty". Even though they never admit it...they are so alike. I wonder where they got their sense of humor?

Yesterday, I had a nice lunch with Amy and Jessie (her roomate and soccer teammate from college) Jessie has a wonderful opportunity to move to Virginia (Beach) with her job and will be leaving on Tuesday for at least 2 years, so it was nice to get together with her one last time before she leaves. I'm sure her parents, siblings and nephews will miss her, but she'll be living in a beautiful part of the country...who wouldn't want to go visit? I've already volunteered :) Best of luck Jess~

Live Simply, Love Generously, Dream Big...and have a VERY SPECIAL EASTER~
God Bless,
Doreen

Take Time

I spent today with my good friend Cathy. We used to make it a point to meet on Wednesdays for coffee (and conversation) but it has been over a month since we've gotten together. We still talk regularly, but it's not the same. We had a great time visiting, shopping at local gift stores and of course having a cup of java. I really enjoyed our time together. You should definately make the time to share with those you love.

Angie came over tonight and we played beauty shop. For those of you who don't know, I'm still a hairdresser. I've had my license for 30 years. So, tonight I lightened Angie's hair. It looked adorable. I never understood why I kept my license. It doesn't help me get my hair done any quicker...I'm always the one who needs a haircut...or has a growout!

Cancer has been in the news a lot lately. It's a shame to think this way, but it helps our cause when someone famous is inflicted with this horrible disease. Now, let's find a way to cure it. Think of the publicity we would get then.... There is a great article in Newsweek this week, read it if you get the chance.

I've got the head bobbin' thing going on right now. I'm very tired.

Dreaming Big,
Dor

Where are the Easter Eggs?

Tonight feels like the right time to share the Easter Egg story with all of you. Many of you have already heard this story, but it gets funnier each time it's told.

Our children (all 3 of them) have an Easter Egg Hunting Disorder (EEHD). We're not sure how or why it happened, but honest to GOD they could not "see" any of the hidden eggs. They would be in plain sight, in Rick's pocket, sticking out of my purse, on the coffee table...etc. and they would walk right by them (while looking directly at them) and say, I don't see any eggs. It was the strangest thing we'd ever seen. Little kids hunting for Easter eggs, looking right at them, then turning their heads as quickly as possible so we wouldn't notice they had spotted one. After the first 20 minutes or so, we would get frustrated...walk them to each of the eggs, pick it up and put in in their basket, all the while they were crying because they couldn't see one. We thought Amy and Angie would eventually grow out of it...but they never did. They were never able to see the Easter eggs. 8 years later, Jake came along and it was time for him to start "hunting" for Easter eggs...No kidding, he did exactly the same thing. It was as if the eggs looked like snakes or something. To this day, we tease the kids about it. Rick says "are you going to hide eggs for the kids? " And I always reply..."no, they won't be able to find them anyway". Just writing about those times brings a smile to my face.

Pam's surgery went well today. Hopefully, they got all the cancer cells this time. She'll have an appointment next week and we'll hear about the pathology report at that time. I had her home by 1:00pm and she's been resting ever since.

I had a very early start today and my lack of rest is catching up with me. I think I'll head off to bed now and work on that beauty sleep I'm always talking about.

Love you more than all the Easter eggs our kids NEVER saw.

Dream Big,
Dor

Man of the Day...

Meet Eric. Our man of the hour/day/week. Eric is a good old buddy of Amy's. He is a retired police officer and Marine. He is funny. Smart. A very hard worker and a darned good gardener.

Eric has been making the rounds today, thatching all of our yards (ALL- as in Amy's, Angie's, Angie's neighbor, Pam's and ours). Who would have thought so much junk could come out of our beautiful green grass? Thatching your yard is a lot like cancer and chemo. You have to get all the bad stuff out before you see the good. Eric is like a little shot of Tarceva. Thanks Eric and kids for all your hard work today. We are so greatful to have you all looking out for us :)
I wasn't much help today, but I did provide my workers with a nice lunch. I know it doesn't seem like a fair trade but I really do appreciate it.

Our new furniture came this afternoon. It's beautiful. Dark brown leather now compliments our new carpet, floors and paint. I feel like we live in a new house. Stop by if you're in the area. I'd love to see you. (But...Please remove your shoes) Our house was completed 20 years ago this week. We moved in then had Easter in our new house the same weekend. It seems like only yesterday...

I've got an early morning tomorrow. Pam and I will be leaving by 5:30am to head back to the hospital. We check in at 6:00am. Her surgery is at 7:30. You know the drill. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I'm feeling pretty tired tonight so I think I'll call it a day. You can never have too much beauty sleep. I should have gone to bed at noon!

Sweet Dreams,
Doreen

Full Time Job

I'm not sure how I've been able to hold down a full time job since my diagnosis. I swear, taking care of medical tasks is a full time job of its own. This morning, I went with Pam to her follow up appointment (Pam wanted to go by herself but I insisted she needed another set of ears with her). Although the doctor is still very confident that Pam's cancer is not invasive, he also told us they did not remove enough bad tissue, so... on Thursday, Pam will be heading back into surgery to have more of her "calcium deposits" removed. I got a little fiesty and wondered why they wouldn't have just removed more to begin with since surgery isn't something you should be having every week. I guess this is common, but I don't like it. This is 2007 ~ You'd think they could test the tissue before they closed the person back up. I really wanted Pam to get a second opinion before she just rushed back into this surgery on Thursday. She's been in contact with Seattle Cancer Care and they've encouraged her to just have the surgery so she can heal and get started on her radiation treatments. I'm now backing off a little, but I'm still not happy about it.

Tonight we are heading to Seattle to see Camelot at the 5th Avenue. (It is my birthday present from Pam - My birthday's not until May, this is Pam's favorite play and she is going with me...do you see a pattern?) You've gotta love friendships like this.

Jake has been a work-a-holic since he's been home. I swear he's been going non-stop since Sunday. Our rec room (basement) looks like a Sports Pub with all his memorabilia hanging on the walls. No one ever uses the downstairs anymore so, I'm excited the space isn't going to waste. He's getting ready for the new furniture that will be delivered on Wednesday. Our old leather from upstairs will be heading to his "Sports Pub downstairs"!

The whole family was over for dinner last night. I love it! They all sat around watching college basketball and it felt like "home" again. Our niece, Darlena, spent the night with us and that was pretty fun. Her mom and dad are remodeling their kitchen and want to have it done before Easter and Darlena's birthday on Sunday. So, she got a little spoiled by Uncle Rick, Auntie and her cousins. 2 year olds can wear you out if you're not careful.

Rick is feeling better, though after our little scare last Tuesday, he just hasn't felt the same. I hope his treatment this time is a little easier on him. My shingles are nearly non-existent. Every once in a while I'm reminded of them but for the most part...I think they are over.
Thank goodness!

I forgot to publish this blog before I left for the play. It was wonderful. I never knew the story of Camelot. Where have I been?

Dream Big,
Dor

Yawn...

I just woke up. Have I missed anything? Just kidding! We've been gone for a few days over at Desert Aire. Jake was still at school, Amy attended a 30th birthday party for her old college roommate Jessie (Happy Birthday Jessie), so Angie rode over with Rick and I. The 3 of us got a bunch of work done in the yard and house so, it's now ready for regular visits. Between our household and our cousins houses, there were about 10 of us at D.A. for the weekend. We got back home around 5:00pm today. Do you think it's too early for me to head back over? Ok, I'll wait a bit.

I'm sitting here with a smile on my face as I hear Jake rustling around the house, putting his room back together and unpacking 4 years of incredible college memories. When he called us this morning to let us know he was on his way back to Stanwood, you could hear the crackling of sadness in his voice as he pulled away from his "home away from home". Megan is still over in Pullman until graduation, as are all of his fraternity brothers and his friends in the WSU education program. Rick and I aren't the same, but we'll do our best to keep him laughing. I'm sure Amy and Angie will do their share of entertaining as well. Our family is all back together again (or at least within 20 minutes from each other). Life is good!

As I was getting ready to say goodnight to you, it just dawned on me that today is April 1st. APRIL. APRIL 2007. It was a year ago yesterday that I heard the "C" word for the first time. I had gone in for a routine x-ray to see if the pneumonia was going away. Instead the Dr. told me that this x-ray looked worse than all my previous ones. At that time, they set up an appointment for the following morning at 7:00am for a CT Scan to rule out a tumor in my lung. They didn't find a tumor, but the next few weeks were a blur... spring break, mom's weekend at WSU, an Athletic Director's convention...then the news that would forever change our lives. It has been a bittersweet year to say the least. I've learned more in these past 11 months (about life, love, faith, happiness, loyalty & friendship) than I'd ever thought possible. Who knew that some of life's biggest lessons would come after I thought I knew it all?

Love you more than all the April Fool's pranks that were pulled today.

Dream Big,
Dor

Is it nap time?

With all the excitement (or worry of today), I went without much sleep again last night. What bothers me most about it is that I like to lose those 150 calories they say we lose while sleeping. Do you think I lose any just tossing and turning? Enough about that. I'm taking a nap as soon as I turn this computer off.

Pam's surgery went well. She's nauseated right now but that will soon pass. The doctor said the tumors were encapsulated and they did not appear to spread to the nearby tissue. That is great news. Now we just wait for the pathology reports to confirm everything we already know and head down to SCCA for an oncology appointment. If all goes well Pam will have 6 weeks of radiation (every weekday for 6 weeks). I just made that sound like no big deal (I get that from Pam - she's still calling her "condition" calcium deposits) Thanks to all my friends and family for their prayers, love and concern.

Rick is feeling much better today. He had his chemo pack removed and is now down at work. He scared me for a while....I'm better now. It's hard to see the ones you love, sick. So enough is enough, already!

I'm always honored when I hear someone say, "I read your blog all the time". Had cancer never entered my life I would have missed this opportunity to share our story with you. Pain has a way of either teaching or wounding our soul. The choice is largely ours. I clearly have a lot more to learn so you can guess which road I'll be taking.

Love you more than all the sheep I counted last night...and the night before...and the night before that!

Dream Big,
Dor

A quick goodnight!

Tomorrow will be a busy day. I'm going to take Pam to the hospital for surgery (I know many of you have offered to take her because Rick wasn't feeling well, but he's doing ok tonight and he said Pam needs me tomorrow...you gotta love that guy - Thanks for the offers!) She's been a great friend to me and I would be sick if I wasn't with her on a day like this. Oh wait, I am sick. Oh well. I'll go anyway. Just kidding...I love my red headed buddy like family. I wouldn't be anywhere else but by her side. Rick gets his chemo fanny pack off tomorrow so hopefully he'll be feeling much better by the weekend. Does this sound like a bad soap opera?

Have I told you lately? Cancer Sucks!

Dream Big,
Dor

Scary Night (with good news attached)

Last night we felt the first real signs of what chemo can do. In the middle of the night, Rick's body went into tremor mode for 3 straight hours. (Not like the shakes, more like an earthquake) He felt like he was on fire, but he had no fever. We got out our handy dandy chemo guide and sure enough, it was a side effect. So, we laid on the bed and did lamaze breathing until he finally went to sleep. I of course, couldn't fall to sleep then because I was petrified. Rick woke up this morning feeling better (no shaking) but he is extremely exhausted. I called the oncologist and they had me go get a glass thermometer (I had been using a digital one) to make sure he didn't really have a fever. Those side effects can also be a sign of a blood infection. Thank God, his temp is 98.5 So now, we're going to rest and take his temp every 4 hours through the night just to be sure. We have been so spoiled with our treatments. I feel great (a little tired today), no rashes, no sickness. Rick hasn't lost his hair, no vomiting, or any of the other major side effects. He's fatigued a little more than normal but other than that, we really have just been ourselves.

The good news (besides the fact that Rick has not developed a bad infection) is that his CEA count is now at 9.8. Can you believe this? We were amazed when the nurse told us this morning. Now, lets just get him feeling like his old self again.

I'm signing off now so I can take a nap. I'll write more tonight if I get a chance.

One little story before I go...our town lost power for a few hours this morning because GEESE flew into the power lines. No joke. Watch the news. "Can you say "cooked goose"?

Dream Big,
Dor

It's Chemo Day!

We are leaving in a few minutes to make our trek to Seattle. I don't sleep well the night before chemo because I think we're going to miss our alarm and not get there in time, and they'll have to reschedule, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, and so on. Did you know I love to worry. (Another thing I got from my mom, thanks!)

Before I leave, I want to share a little story with you. This weekend while in Spokane, my friend Dy drove me to this store I had heard about called Labor of Love Creations. The tiny little store is filled with sayings on boards or you can just get words in vinyl to rub on your wall (check out their website...laboroflovecreations.com) Ok, long story short...Dy leaves for 2 minutes to go to the bathroom and returns to me blubbering in this little store. Thank goodness no other customers were in it, but the 2 girls behind the counter were looking for tissues to give me and tried to comfort me and could only find a Subway napkin to wipe away my tears. What's important about this story is I wasn't crying because I was sad. I was looking for just the perfect saying for above my bed and I had found it. "True Love Stories Never Have Endings". They didn't have it in my color or size so I'm going to order it online. I thought you should know, I have mini meltdowns because of happy things too!

I'll write more tonight when we get home.

Love you to the moon and back,
Dreaming Big ~ Doreen

Blog #265

With chemo coming tomorrow, we decided to get away for a couple of days (hence, no new writings). We stopped by Desert Aire (I haven't been there since November), made one last trip over to Pullman (except for graduation) to pick up some of Jake's stuff, then to Spokane to see Bob and Dy's new house (which is beautiful and very big). Needless to say, I had to go to work at the school today just to get some rest. (Just kidding school officials...I worked very hard while I was there and I even stayed an extra hour)

Tonight is Bunco and the group of ladies I play with are all so much fun. I used to think it was about the prizes and money, but I quickly realized it was about the friendship & WINNING. Oh, I'm just pulling your leg. I hardly ever win. I just go for the great food, good wine and laughter.

I'm trying to find ways to get Rick to sleep better so I had a party called Private Quarters. They sell all kinds of amazing bed and bath stuff. Tonight when he gets home and crawls under the covers, he'll be surprised that he's now laying on a "Blissful Bed". A deluxe matress cover, a new featherbed, 550 tread count sheets, and me.

Bunco starts at 7:00 so I'd better get going. I still have to go to the store for the crab to go in my hot crab dip.

Tomorrow is chemo day so wish us luck!

Love you more than I love my new bed accessories...
Dor

Spring is in the air

We've been out and about the past few days (in celebration of all our good news). Everywhere we look there are daffidols and flowering cherry/plum trees blooming. This is my favorite time of the year (minus the rain). Wait, I think I've said that about the last two seasons. I guess what I'm trying to say is every DAY is my favorite DAY.

Many of you know how upset I was after my initial diagnosis. I wanted to live to see Jake graduate from college and the progress didn't look promising. Apparently, I don't listen very well. It appears I'm going to be healthy and happy for his graduation in May, as is Rick. Jake will be home next weekend for good. I'm looking so forward to it. Not just for us, but for Amy and Angie as well. They have carried the burden very close to their hearts from day one. We all wanted Jake to just keep going to school and not worry about what was going on at home. Amy and Angie have gone to almost every appointment of ours, spent countless hours helping around the house, and stopped by nearly every day just to make sure we were ok. Now, with Jake at home, they'll share the day to day worries between the 3 of them. They will also share the daily joys (which happen more than daily burdens).

We got some great advice from a friend the other day regarding insomnia. She said, she too, dealt with insomnia while she was going through chemo. So instead of fighting it, she used that time to read a book she's been wanting to get to, watch a movie that only comes on at 3am, pray, clean the house, write notes, etc. She figured she had many more years to sleep, so why not enjoy the time while she was awake. That's some of the best advice I've heard. Thanks, Joy! We're going to take you up on that.

Love you more than Popeye loves spinach....Aye, Aye, Aye~
Dream Big,
Dor

Great News

We just returned from Rick's check up appointment (after 2 months of chemo and a CT Scan). The oncologist said that the majority of the tumors in Rick's liver and lymph nodes have shrunk between 10 to 30 percent. As long as the chemo is doing what it was intended for, they are going to continue his treatment just as planned. So, starting again next Tuesday we will be back to Chemo every other Tuesday (through Thursday). It's much easier to sleep when you know your treatment is working. Maybe tonight Rick will finally sleep straight through the night. I think insomnia has been his worse side effect.

Love you more,
Dor

Just another blog...

I've been slacking on the blog lately, sorry :( With all that has been going on lately, you'd think I'd have more to write about). Actually, I do. I just don't seem to sit down long enough to put it in words.

Angie was very sick with the flu last weekend, so Amy took care of her so Rick and I wouldn't be in jeopardy of catching it. This weekend, Amy has it. I don't think she's been off the bathroom floor or out of bed since Saturday morning. Isn't it nice how our girls still share? Hopefully, they haven't given it to anyone else.

I heard a saying the other day (I think it's from a new Sally Field's movie) and is was something like this... I love all my children equally, just not the same. Our kids always tease each other about which one is loved more, or that mom likes me better.... Doesn't that line just sum it up? We all love our children equally. But, we love each of them for their own unique, wonderful way. Pass that on...

Tomorrow is Rick's updated CT Scan. I feel really confident that we are going to get good news on Tuesday after they've read the report. He has been doing so well. Besides the few days when he is actually getting the chemo you wouldn't know he was sick. I think he's still cuter than ever. We'll send out the good news on Tuesday when we return from Seattle.

My baby boy (Ok, he's almost 22) went back to Pullman for the last time as a student today. He'll be heading back home on the 29th to begin his life as an educator and adult. As Rick and I look at our life, we're not sure it gets much better than this. Our children all have their degrees, they're healthy (except for the flu), they are kind and generous souls, and we fall asleep and wake up with the love of our life everyday.

Tomorrow is my 11th month diagnosis anniversary. It appears I'm going to be that 1 in 5 that I told you about. Someone had to survive that first year and I volunteered to be the one. Thank you all for your continued support and love over these past months. I'm not going to let you down. I ordered new furniture this weekend and it has a 7 year guarantee. I intend to last longer than the warantee on my sofa and chairs.

Love you more than all the tulips that are ready to bloom in Skagit Valley.

Dream Big,
Dor

I've been slacking on the blog lately, sorry :( With all that has been going on lately, you'd think I'd have more to write about). Actually, I do. I just don't seem to sit down long enough to put it in words.

Angie was very sick with the flu last weekend, so Amy took care of her so Rick and I wouldn't be in jeopardy of catching it. This weekend, Amy has it. I don't think she's been off the bathroom floor or out of bed since Saturday morning. Isn't it nice how our girls still share? Hopefully, they haven't given it to anyone else.

I heard a saying the other day (I think it's from a new Sally Field's movie) and is was something like this... I love all my children equally, just not the same. Our kids always tease each other about which one is loved more, or that mom likes me better.... Doesn't that line just sum it up? We all love our children equally. But, we love each of them for their own unique, wonderful way. Pass that on...

Tomorrow is Rick's updated CT Scan. I feel really confident that we are going to get good news on Tuesday after they've read the report. He has been doing so well. Besides the few days when he is actually getting the chemo you wouldn't know he was sick. I think he's still cuter than ever. We'll send out the good news on Tuesday when we return from Seattle.

My baby boy (Ok, he's almost 22) went back to Pullman for the last time as a student today. He'll be heading back home on the 29th to begin his life as an educator and adult. As Rick and I look at our life, we're not sure it gets much better than this. Our children all have their degrees, they're healthy (except for the flu), they are kind and generous souls, and we fall asleep and wake up with the love of our life everyday.

Tomorrow is my 11th month diagnosis anniversary. It appears I'm going to be that 1 in 5 that I told you about. Someone had to survive that first year and I volunteered to be the one. Thank you all for your continued support and love over these past months. I'm not going to let you down. I ordered new furniture this weekend and it has a 7 year guarantee. I intend to last longer than the warantee on my sofa and chairs.

Love you more than all the tulips that are ready to bloom in Skagit Valley.

Dream Big,
Dor

I love you more than - Quilt

It's been another busy week at the Schmitt household but we're all doing fine. Rick's CEA count has dropped to 18.4 (we're aiming for 0 - 2). My shingles are still painful but tolerable. Jake is home for his spring break. Angie is finally over her flu and back to her old self again. Amy is not scheduled to do anything work or military related for the next 2 days. We've all been together a couple of times since Jake's been home and it has been great! He only has 2 more weeks in Pullman then he'll be home for good.

Thanks to all of you for sending your well wishes to Pam. I know she appreciates them as much as Rick and I do. Life is funny sometimes. Well, not "funny". But, "funny?" A year ago, I hardly knew anyone who had been touched by cancer, now 2 of the most important people in my life are sharing it with me.

Many of you know that I wanted to write a book called "I love you more than" but I haven't gotten around to it. So, my friends Jane and Pam have come up with a wonderful idea. They want to make a quilt of "I love you more than". I'm going to attach the e-mail I received from Jane so you understand it more.

A WORK OF ART
IS ABOUT TO BE
MADE FOR
RICK AND DOREEN SCHMITT!

YOUR CREATIVITY
AND IMAGINATION
ARE NEEDED!

YOU ARE INVITED
TO HELP CREATE
A "LOVE YOU MORE THAN..." QUILT!

• For many months, Doreen has ended her blog entries with a "Love you more than...."

Love you more than all the 2-piece bathing suits in Hawaii.
Love you more than all the raindrops that fell last night.
Love you more than all the elves at the North Pole.

• You are invited to create an 8.5" x 8.5" quilt square that represents a "Love you more than..." Check out Rick and Doreen's blog at www.cancersurvivor2006.blogspot.com for one of her sayings, OR, make up your own! You may include words on your square, but they aren't necessary. Use any materials you wish. This quilt will emerge with life of its own! :-)
  

• If you'd like to participate, but this "quilt square thing" is a little foreign to you, give Jane Gum a call for some help getting started. (Her # is below.)
  

• You can piece, applique, cross-stitch, embroider, fabric paint, and/or embellish your square. Be creative! Make it ornate, or keep it simple. Just remember to keep your design at least 1/4" from the edge of your square. The 8.5" x 8.5" piece of material that you turn in will end up being an 8" x 8" square in the quilt (1/4" seams).

• DEADLINE FOR FINISHED SQUARES: FRIDAY, JUNE 1ST!

• Finished squares can be dropped off at the Main Office at Stanwood High School with Pam Erickson or can be mailed to: Pam Erickson, 4205 Peninsula Rd. Stanwood, WA 98292.

• Please include a $10 check made out to "Pam Erickson" with your completed square, together with a note including your name, phone number, and the "Love you more than..." that your square represents. Your donation will help defray the costs of finishing materials and quilting. If there should be more money than needed, it will be donated to The American Cancer Society.
  

• If you can't make a square, but would like to be part of this project, check donations made out to "Pam Erickson" will be gladly accepted and can be mailed to her at the address given above.

• If you have any questions, please contact:

Jane Gum - (360) 654-9065; (425) 418-7514; gumgal@gmail.com
Pam Erickson - (360) 652-0287

I'd better get going now before my weekend is over. Rick and I will be the judges for the slam dunk contest tonight at the Senior Basketball game in Mt. Vernon. It should be fun!

Love you more than all the quilt squares that Jane and Pam will collect....

Dream Big,
Doreen

Another good news...bad news...blog

Before I tell you about the good and bad news, let me tell you about the unexpected news... No, I'm not pregnant (I'm missing too many of the parts) but I did get a tattoo. I know what you're thinking???? What was she thinking??? Well I need to tell you a story about it, then you'll understand. About 10 months ago, (after my diagnosis) the kids searched for a symbol that meant "unity" so the 3 of them would get a tattoo to join them together for life (apparently, having the same parents and the same DNA was not enough). They were given many ideas but one design grabbed them instantly. It was a trinity knot. So, beginning with Jacob's upper arm last spring, to Angies foot in early February, to Amy's foot on her birthday all the kids got a trinity knot engraved forever on their bodies. Then about a week ago, Rick was outside cooking steaks (for Amy, Angie & I) and came into the house wearing his jeans and an apron ~ flashing his piece of art on his upper arm like Jake. I thought...you're kidding me. Rick with a tattoo? Is it real? When did you do this? I was shocked and very touched. I realized how united our family really is. So, the pressure was on. Would I crumble at family peer pressure? Of course I would. I invented it. So, tonight...I made an appointment and had a little tattoo put on my foot of the trinity knot (with a little red crown hanging from it). I have to say, it hurt a little, but it took my mind off the shingles for a few minutes (and I think it's really cute...for a tattoo). I know you're all thinking we've gone crazy, but let me tell you what it means and I think you'll understand why we did it.

It is referred to as the endless knot. The symbol eludes to beginnings and endings. In viewing this trinity knot you cannot see a beginning or an ending, therefore we are reminded of the timless nature of our spirit. See? Kindof neat, don't you think? But wait, there's more...Some say this symbol represents an uninterrupted life cycle, warding against sickness or setbacks that might interfere with an otherwise calm and stable life. And let me tell you, it can't hurt to have a tattoo to remind me how precious and timeless life really is.
I'm attaching a photos... Hope you like them.

Now, for the good news. Rick's CEA count (which is a tumor marker for colon cancer) lowered from 58 to 27 (normal is 0 -2). That was the first time it actually moved in the direction we needed it to. He just had his 4th chemo treatment yesterday and seems to be doing really well. Of course, he's walking around with his fanny pack filled with chemo until tomorrow, but he doesn't mind ~ as long as it keeps working. We will know more next week if the tumors are shrinking, but for now, just having the numbers go down gives us great hope.

My shingles are still under the skin so no disgusting sores on the outside, however, the pain is still very intense. People were not kidding when they said "oh, shingles? They really hurt!" A little pain is good for us. It's one less day we have to pinch ourselves to see if we're still alive.

And now for the bad news. My dear red-headed friend, Pam, who I talk about all the time...was diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday. I wasn't around when she heard about it, because I was in Seattle with Rick while he was having his treatment. It was the first time Rick and I both left our cell phones home (so she couldn't call me when she heard the news). I tried calling her to tell her about Rick's good news and she didn't answer. Moments later, I got a call from a mutual friend who told me the news about Pam. I was devastated. Pammy is family to me. She's a rock, and a shoulder, and a best friend. We just gave her a surprise 60th birthday party and one of my gifts to her was a list of "60" reasons why we should be best friends forever....
The list was easy to make, as a matter of fact, I had many more things to say but I could only pick 60. She makes me laugh. Laughs at me when I cry. Helps me in ways she'll never know. Now it's my turn to help her. Pam said she got cancer because she wanted to be just like me and because she wants to walk in the survivor lap at the Relay for Life. I just think she wanted to be part of the "CLUB". It's not a great club to belong to, I say join the Rotary Club or the Red Hat Ladies Club, but the cancer club? Who wants to belong to that one? Please keep Pam in your thoughts and prayers. She (like Rick & I) is surrounded by many people who love her, and like I've said before...if love heals, then we'll be cured. (Oh, she also found out that radiation might make her boob perky so she's thinking about having it done to both boobs..) You've gotta love her!

Dream Big,
Dor

Chemo Day

I just wanted to say good morning before we left for Rick's treatment in Seattle. I worked yesterday so I'm a little extra tired this morning. I'd better finish getting ready so we can head out. I promise to write more when we get home or maybe I'll write a little from the hospital if all the computers aren't being used. I love you all!

Love you more than all the shamrocks in Ireland.

Dream Big,
Dor

I've been missing in action...

Even though I've been diagnosed with Lung Cancer and Shingles, and my husband has colon cancer and is currently going though chemo...Life couldn't be better. Our house has been transformed. Yesterday afternoon, once all the floors were finished being installed, my dad, Cathy Huntington and the girls helped put the house back together. Amy and Angie actually stayed until around 11:00pm when we pushed them out the door. They would have stayed until it was all done, but we made them go home. I'm going to post some photos once I find my digital camera.

I've been taking my anti-viral meds so the "rash part of the shingles" has not reared it's ugly head. The pain can get pretty intense, but when I stay busy it takes my mind off it. I take a mild pain medicine regularly, so I've been able to tolerate it. Once I lay down for the evening...that's when I remember how much I hurt. So, I've decided the busier I stay, the less pain I'll be in.

Rick starts round 4 of his chemo treatments on Tuesday. I can hardly believe that 2 months have gone by. Hopefully, the chemo is doing it's job. We've been really blessed so far. On the 19th they are sending him in for CT scans and they'll let us know the progress on the 20th. He looks and feels great. I feel confident that we're going to hear good news!

Jake is in L.A. for a few days celebrating his last Spring Break as a college student. This is the first time he has gone away since he started school, so we were happy he decided to do something for himself. He is down there with 3 of his fraternity brothers. Yesterday they spent the day at Disneyland! I'm so jealous~ Tomorrow night they're going to a Lakers game. Jake will be in 7th Heaven...it's his favorite team!

I probably need to get off the computer and get back to my organizing. I'm only bringing things back into the rooms that I intend to keep. Everything else is going to a neighborhood garage sale at Angie's in May.

I love you more than I love my new floors (ok, maybe that's going overboard)

Dream Big,
Dor

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

Good News? or Bad News? Hummm..... The good news is my CT Scan looked good. The bad news is it appears I have shingles. I'm now taking some new meds since I wasn't taking enough pills already. I'm actually relieved. Although it hurts like h-e-double toothpicks (that was so 5th grade) I feel much better that it wasn't the cancer spreading to my bones. Pam took me to the doctor today and she hasn't stopped talking about how cute she thinks my doctor is. She doesn't even care that I have lung cancer, she just wants to accompany me to all my appointments. The fact that he is young enough to be her son (or grandson) does not even phase her. You've gotta love that about Pam.

I've just taken some pain meds and I'm about to fall asleep at the computer, so I'm going to call it a night and write more in the morning.

Love you more than all the times Pam talked about how cute Dr. Eaton was...

Dream Big,
Dor

Messy House

We've been gone for a few days to the state basketball tournament. Right before we left we found out that our new hardwood floors and carpeting would be installed, starting Monday. We were very excited, but I wanted to paint before everything arrived and I knew we wouldn't be home until Saturday evening. Needless to say, my troop of helpers arrived and we painted for hours yesterday (The livingroom, laundry room, kitchen, hallway, and down the stairs) What was I thinking? It looks beautiful, but I fell asleep in my painting clothes last night and I still had a few touch-ups to finish. Not to worry, I'll do it tonight while Rick is vacuuming all the dust up...What a mess. The final results will be worth it...just like cancer. You sometimes have to go through a mess before everything looks beautiful again.

Dr. Eaton has moved my CT up for tomorrow instead of the 19th. The pain in my side (ribcage) has been an everyday thing lately that sometimes requires something stronger than a Tylenol. So, instead of waiting a couple of weeks, he figured we should get to the bottom of it now. I agreed.

Rick woke up yesterday feeling like he had something caught in his throat. I pretended I was a doctor and looked in his mouth for anything suspicious...his uvula (dangling thing in the back of our throat) was very swollen. We called the emergency oncology number and they gave us a few things to try before heading to the emergency room. The swelling never worsened, but it was very uncomfortable for him. He still has the symptoms this morning, but he is getting used to them. It looks like his mouth sores may be appearing - starting in his throat area.

I'm going to get in the bathtub now and soak my paint off. I know I'll still have some touch ups to do, but I thought I should wait until the dust is gone.

I'll post some photos soon. I can't wait to get it all put back together.

An I love you more than from my friend Cathy: I love you more than all the daffodils waiting to pop up through the dirt....

Dream Big,
Doreen

Happy March

I meant to put this picture on here days ago. It was taken on Sunday night when Amy got home from Puerto Rico. She got some valuable training as well as some sunshine.... obviously.

We've been watching State Basketball for the past couple of days. Rick and I have been coming to the Tacoma Dome for the past 15 years for this annual event and we still enjoy ourselves every year. It's a lot less stressful when we don't have any of our own children playing. We do have Ally (Rick's cousin's daughter) who plays for Snohomish so it makes it much more exciting to be down here.

Rick got disconnected from his Chemo today, so he feels about 10 pounds lighter. I wish they could disconnect me from something, but I don't have anything hooked up. Oh well, a few extra pounds might come in handy someday. I've had a side ache & back ache the past few days so I'm going to call Dr. Eaton and move my appointment up from the 19th.

Amy and Angie got a great birthday present yesterday. They got a check from a dear friend to put towards my Relay for Life total (so I would hit my goal...which I did). Thanks...you know who you are!

I know I haven't written much the past few days but I'm exhausted tonight so I think I'm going to make this a short one as well.

Until tomorrow....

Dream Big

Dor

Birthday Eve

I've had a little joke going for the past few years about the girls. Whenever someone says "you can't possibly have daughters that old, I say "oh, they are from their father's first marriage". It's not a lie. I too, was from his first marriage, I just leave that part out. Please don't take that the wrong way. I want to be an important part of the amazing people they've become...I just don't like saying the number 30 out loud. (Sorry girls...I'm sure you don't like it either)

I wonder if our daughters knew when they were little girls how much they would impact the lives of others? We always did. :)

Chemo went well again. We've been so lucky, so far!

Hugs and kisses,
Dor

Birthday Surprise

Tonight we surprised Amy and Angie for their 30th birthday at a local restaurant (Jimmys, their favorite). About 20 family members and good friends showed up and helped make this special birthday memorable.

This past year has been very trying on the girls. They always try to be strong for us. They take time off from their jobs to accompany us to appointments. They are by our sides for everything. I know they want to make it easy for Jake as well. He feels like he is out of the loop being over at college, but they always tell him to "keep studying hard and he'll be home before he knows it. Until then, don't worry, we'll take care of mom and dad. You just take care of yourself". Those are amazing sisters and daughters.

I promised the girls I would give them my recipes one day (which I never seemed to get around to). While shopping at a little boutique in town last week (during my lunch break) I found the perfect recipe boxes. They were handpainted (with my favorite green color on the top) with the words, "Big dreams start small" painted on them. It couldn't have been more fitting. So, one of the gifts I gave them tonight was the beginning of their "mom's recipe box". They cried when they opened it (as did I) so I think it may have been a hit. We also gave them 30 roses, a passport and a week of relaxing ~ wherever their heart desired, near or far (I heard them mention Venice before we left the restaurant...Oh, to be 30 again) I plan on being around to celebrate their 40th birthday with them. By then, their recipe box will be overflowing, like my heart is for them.

It's chemo eve again. I hope we sleep better than we did 2 weeks ago. Let's hope everything contines to go as smooth as it has in the past 4 weeks. We always have a rough couple of days at the beginning, but it tapers off by the end of the 2 weeks.

If you get a chance to wish our girls a happy birthday on Wednesday, I'm sure they would love itto hear from you. Amy's email is: amyzoe@hotmail.com and Angie's is: schmitt_12@hotmail.com Tell them Mom and Dad sent you.

Thanks to all of you who made this night so special. And a special thanks to our daughters who make life worth living. Have a very happy birthday week....

Love you more than all the recipes in my recipe box!

Dream Big, Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite...
Dor

I've missed you all

What a tangled, busy life I've lived this past week. I worked everyday (got a bunch of work done and enjoyed myself this time...I loved being there), worked on Pam's surprise party that we had last night (which I might add was a ton of fun...and she was very surprised...Angie, Jake and Rick came after watching cousin Ally at Snohomish District Basketball game so they got in on the fun too!), I've been working on a secret project for Amy and Angie for their birthday that is coming up on Wednesday, and Jake came home for the weekend. Amy comes home tonight from Puerto Rico... And it's the Oscars tonight so all our work has to be done by 5:00

Today is a day of rest and recoup since we start the chemo process again tomorrow. I didn't wake up until 9:30 (and that's because I heard the phone ring) We've been so lucky to this point. Rick will have one more chemo treatment the week of March 12th, then on the 19th we both have CT scans. On the 20th we have appointments to hear the results. I have a good feeling that will be a great day :)

Just a little F.Y.I. ~ I'm doing better now. I'm not the emotional wreck I was a couple of weeks ago. As a matter of fact, I think it was healing for me to have a day like that. I don't want to have one again anytime soon, but if I need one...I'll take it.

I'm sitting here writing my blog and listening to my boys talking. Rick is a little bit of a sock addict and he has more packages of unopened socks than anyone I know. He and Jake are sorting through this "extra" socks and discovered some of the most hideous colored socks ever. I can't believe we bought him teal colored dress socks, or bright royal blue ones. Rick said he wants me to buy him some shirts to match the socks...I said "put them in the Goodwill bag". Jake doesn't think anyone at the Goodwill would buy them. I don't remember smiling and laughing so much over socks. It feels good.

I'd better get going so I can work on my birthday surprise for Amy and Ang.

Love you more than all the new socks in Rick's drawers and in our closet (and in the Goodwill bag).

Dream Big,
Doreen

The end of a busy week

I'm looking forward to tomorrow (the end of a busy week and celebrating Pam's birthday). I've been working (at my real job) all week, getting a lot done, and looking forward to next week when we start Rick's 3rd round of Chemo. Isn't it amazing how time flies? It has been 2 months since Rick was diagnosed. Since then he's had surgery, recovered from that, had another small surgery to get his port in, recovered from that, and is getting ready for another round of chemo. I feel so thankful that the doctors got things moving as quickly as they did. We have angels helping us every step of the way.

I forgot how much I love my friends at work (and the job), but I also know I'm beat every night when I get home. I'm going to have to come up with a game plan to fit all my needs and the needs of my family and work (oh...and my needs. I always forget about those)

My dear friend Pammy will be 60 on Sunday. I don't mean to rub it in, but it sure is fun. I hope tomorrow turns out to be a blast. We're all celebrating but she doesn't know about it. (Don't worry about her finding out...she doesn't have a computer at home...so by the time she reads this...she'll be covered in birthday wishes.

Jake is on his way home from college for the weekend, Amy arrives home on Sunday from beautiful Puerto Rico (however in the past 24 hours she has developed a terrible sinus cold and some kind of stomach bug) , and Angie is only a phone call away. Oh, what a wonderful life I have.

Hey, it's Grey's Anatomy night tonight. I'd better get my work done so I can be ready to watch it by 9:00.

Love you more than all the laughter in our office tomorrow.

Dream Big,
Dor